Stop apologising already and get on with the business of making a difference

As Jessica Bennett, author of Feminist Fight Club puts it, "Sorry is a crutch — a tyrannical lady-crutch. It’s a space filler, a hedge, a way to politely ask for something without offending, to appear “soft” while making a demand".

Apologising not only focuses on the fault but also assumes that the fault, if there was one, was yours and keeps you playing small.

  • Credibility is key in your success and leadership journey

  • While rude is bad (and “unfeminine”), gracious and kind is good

  • And the best bit? Gracious is seen as “the feminine” plus seen as a highly desirable leadership trait in both men and women

  • And graciousness is a credibility builder.

So how do we be gracious yet not over apologise?


Say “Thank you” instead of “Sorry”

  • “Sorry I’m late.” Instead - “Thank you for your patience”

  • "Sorry for the needing the meeting moved" Instead - "Thank you for your consideration"

  • "Sorry” when you express an option that’s contrary Instead - “Thanks and what about this idea ..”

Save sorry for when it’s really needed and matters most!

What other examples where thanks might be better than sorry?

#sorrynotsorry #womenofimpact #makeabiggerdifference


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