Time to D.E.C.O.M.P.R.E.S.S.

Yesterday I saw a guy in a suit, singing on the beach.

He was walking along, headset in and belting out a tune with not a worry in the world.

He seemed happy, relaxed and he didn’t care what other people think.

After my initial response wondering if he was OK, I realised that I want some of that relaxed, not a care in the world sensation too

Thank goodness for holidays!

When you operate in a state of constant high alert, pressure & stress, it triggers a fight or flight response.

Just like fear.

Chemical signals that wash through your brain and body - the same as if you had to run from a sabre toothed tiger!

But you didn’t

Instead, you’re wrestling with a cocktail that’s far more deadly - deadlines, KPIs, office politics, reputation management, expectations, disappointment, guilt, fear and comparisons.

The impact? 

You risk becoming small - invisible & dismissible - far less likely to belt out Broadway tunes on a  the beach.

Time to decompress!

Wisdom traditions teach us to decompress regularly.

Breathe_Decompress_Amanda_Blesing_Career_advice_women.jpg

Modern neuroscience teaches us the same.

This holiday period reflect on the following

"your best ideas rarely happen in front of the computer"

Then unplug, get grounded, laugh, hug, spend time with people who matter most, get outdoors and take a break

Decompress.

Here’s to a big, bold, bodacious & brilliant 2018!

If you enjoyed this read on ....

Feel like your leadership journey has stalled? Email ablesing@amandablesing.com to set up a 30 min one on one to learn more. Helping clients shift from feeling invisible to becoming invincible in just 12 months

Why leading differently may just be your job

I turned down a really big promotion.

My bosses job with far more money & global recognition.

Even though I’d been working my butt off to be considered!

Yet had a crisis of confidence, and self selected out before even negotiating.

Not understanding the Career Limiting Move this was – until much later.

Hindsight is 20:20 vision.

This gave me HUGE insight,

Into the way that many see their capability to carve out a different path.

Today, I work with women angling for promotions, raises & the recognition they deserve.

Frequently, they self select out way too soon.

Just because your boss was super stressed or struggled,

Doesn’t mean the same reality for you.

Vive la difference_Amanda_Blesing_ Best_Career_advice_women.jpg

Just because your boss led a certain way,

Doesn’t make it the only way to lead.

We all have different ways of operating.

  • Some good
  • Some great
  • Some that truly make a difference.

So instead of saying no straight up.

Give yourself a fighting chance.

Don’t let others dictate your story.

“I haven’t found myself constrained by the male models of leadership because I haven’t found them particularly inspiring, so why copy something you didn’t like?” ~ Ann Sherry AO, Carnival Australia

If feminine leadership truly is the way of the 21st Century,

Your job is to lead differently anyway.

Vive la difference!

 

Liked this? Try more - 

Feel like your leadership journey has stalled? Email ablesing@amandablesing.com to set up a 30 min one on one to learn more. Helping clients shift from feeling invisible to becoming invincible in just 12 months

Language habits that get in the way of women leading

Language Warning!   

Are you making these common language mistakes at work?

“I’m no expert but ….”
“I know you’ve been doing this much longer than me but  ….” 
“Am I making sense?” 
“Do you understand what I mean?”
“I just wanted to send you an email …..”
“I actually wanted to find out ….” 
“I probably should check this …..” 
“Let me quickly say …..”

And my personal favourite - uptalk - which makes you sound uncertain, as though you are seeking approval or need your ideas validated.

Passive or apologetic language habits get in the way of your executive brand, your career success & any leadership aspirations you may have.

They undermine your credibility.

Subtly but surely

And what’s scary?

They’re worse if you are overworked, overwhelmed or worn out

Get awareness.

Get an audit to identify where you need to -

  • Slow down, pause, conveying confidence and authority
  • Remove shrinkers like "just" and "actually" before sending emails to make your statements appear stronger
  • Use eye contact to show kindness, while keeping your power

Then eliminate slowly but surely.

Do the work.

Then take charge of the narrative before it takes charge of you!

1510483502226_Sunday_Life_Language _article_with_Amanda_Blesing.jpg
Feel like your leadership journey has stalled? Email ablesing@amandablesing.com to set up a 30 min one on one to learn more. Helping clients shift from feeling invisible to becoming invincible in just 12 months

Are you working on the right things?

“So often people are working hard at the wrong thing. Working on the right thing is probably more important than working hard.” - Caterina Fake

 

I love this quote, and during the holiday period is a great time to reflect.

- Are you tired, exhausted and wondering if it’s all worthwhile? 

- Maybe it’s as simple as you've been working hard on the wrong things.

- Or is working on the right things more important?

- How easy is it to find the right things anyway?

- Can you find ways to redirect your efforts to the right things?

Rise_above_busy_Amanda_Blesing_Career_advice_for_Women.jpg

- Or at the very least, how can you remove friction so that working on the right things happens more effortlessly?

Would love to know your thoughts - comments below 

#worksmarternotharder 

#playastrategicgame

#riseabovebusy 

#leadingwomeninspirechange

Feel like your leadership journey has stalled? Email ablesing@amandablesing.com to set up a 30 min one on one to learn more. Helping clients shift from feeling invisible to becoming invincible in just 12 months

Are you getting in your own way?

I quit my job with nothing to go to in the GFC.  

No income, no options & no ideas either.  

During this time I discovered something important -  that we are far more than our role.

It didn’t matter the job title, the salary or the perks.  

30767835_ml LINKEDIN_Amanda_Blesing_Best_Career_advice.jpg

What really mattered was that long term unemployment looked like a real option, and I didn’t know if I was going to be enough!  

So with no easy wins on the horizon I invested in myself by

  • ditching trash (tele, novels & games)
  • learning to discern the difference between good & great advice
  • getting coached.  

But first, I got out of my own way.

I decided that I wanted a choice about my next role.

Instead of aiming lower or sideways, I aimed higher.

Then a funny thing happened.

People would stop & ask me what I was doing differently.

Someone even told me that I made being unemployed look great!

Then it all came together. And I landed a great CEO role in my industry that was right up my alley

Even better? I was energised by it and\ knew it was something I could sink my teeth into.

Now, I head up my own consultancy and help executive women get back in charge of their own destiny.

If your career is not going the way you’d prefer, ask yourself:

“Am I getting in my own way? Or am I making my own way?”

You have a choice

#feminineambitionrocks   

 

If you liked this, check out some of my other blogs -

Vive la révolution! #ambitionrevolution #LookOutCSuiteHereSheComes #feminineambition #success #career #executivebranding #personalbrand #standout #leadership  #executivewomen #careerfutureproofing

Feel like your leadership journey has stalled? Email ablesing@amandablesing.com to set up a 30 min one on one to learn more. Helping clients shift from feeling invisible to becoming invincible in just 12 months

Worthy Women - because you're worth it

I travel for business ... a lot!

And when I started my own consultancy I negotiated a couple of deal breakers into my contract with “my boss”.

Worthy_Women_Amanda_Blesing_Coach_Women_in_Leadership.jpg
  1. No more early morning flights
  2. No ‘Up and back’ in a day unless it’s for lunch
  3. No more airport bus (although the Sydney train is fabulous)
  4. Business class when it’s at a meal time**

 

And she said yes!

Why?

  1. Because I hate being worn out and exhausted
  2. Because it helps me stay productive and my boss is a hard task master
  3. Because my clients deserve me at 100%
  4. Because I'm worth it 😎

Interestingly, there are so few women up the front of the plane it’s notable. Even the crew comment.

(** It's always a meal time. Who am I kidding?)

#smallthings #lovemyjob #stayhealthy #winningwomen #worthywomen

 

 

If you liked this, try some more -

Vive la révolution! #ambitionrevolution #LookOutCSuiteHereSheComes #feminineambition #success #career #executivebranding #personalbrand #standout #leadership  #executivewomen #careerfutureproofing

Feel like your leadership journey has stalled? Email ablesing@amandablesing.com to set up a 30 min one on one to learn more. Helping clients shift from feeling invisible to becoming invincible in just 12 months

"You're the reason that I get bad hires!"  No, I'm the reason you get great hires ...

"You're the reason that I get bad hires!" 

This was feedback to me last month when I was chatting with someone about how I help executive women to win raises, promotions or better opportunities. 

And he was referring to the interview role play and rehearsal that I offer.

My response? 

"Actually, you're the reason you get bad hires.  And my clients are simply smart enough to know that people who win interviews are great at interviews. Why would they shoot themselves in the foot by not preparing?  In fact, I'm the reason you get great hires!"

And he laughed.

True story.  

Interview_Role_Play_Amanda_Blesing_Best_Career_Coach.jpg

 

So is it wrong to role play interviews? 
 

No, it's just super smart 'n savvy.  

Some people are naturally gifted at talking 'a good game', but they aren't necessarily good at a role.

Some people are good at a role, but find interviews themselves incredibly stressful and intimidating.

And some people have been interviewing others for so long, that they've forgotten what it's like to be on the other side of the panel.

With smart and savvy interview preparation you can demonstrate that you can talk AND walk a good game.  And that's where it's at.

  • The purpose of the cover letter? To get your CV read
  • The purpose of your CV? To get you an interview
  • The purpose of interview rehearsal? To help you feel more confident and comfortable, so you remember the important detail about specific projects, and articulate that in language that an interview panel will understand and value, in a format that cuts through the clutter.

To all of my clients who are interviewing this week - power on! 

And remember - 

  • Confidence equals competence in the eyes of most people so even if you don't feel confident, 'fake it til you become it' a la Amy Cuddy
  • It's a conversation, not a performance or a test to catch you out 
  • Keep your answers succinct 
  • Cover all the important bases (use a formula like STAR or STRE)
  • Do have responses for those random questions such as "tell us about your improvement areas", or "how can you add value?"
  • Don't be afraid to reframe (?!) yes reframe - its a great tool, more on that later .... and
  • Smile 

It's tough putting yourself out there over and over again to be judged. I know you feel uncomfortable and I'm proud of you anyway.

And good luck!

Feminine leadership superpowers + strategic interview role play = priceless

Liked this? Read more on interviews

 

Feel like your leadership journey has stalled? Email ablesing@amandablesing.com to set up a 30 min one on one to learn more. Helping clients shift from feeling invisible to becoming invincible in just 12 months

This is the game

“It’s okay for some, but my situation is different“
"I can't do this right now because I’m waiting for the right time“
“I’m not as good as some of the clients you are used to working with.”
This_Is_The_Game_AmandaBlesing_best_career_coach.jpg

I get these comments every day ...

And I love them.

They help me see that what I do is important!

It's easy to feel like you’re not good enough, don’t compare, or need to do more work.

We tend to push back because we’re scared that we may fail.

I know this, because I’m the same.

I'm a solo fempreneur.

I’m pushing myself every day.

Everything is new and I’m frequently flying by the seat of my pants!

And I underestimate myself, just like everyone else.

I regularly blog and share meaningful content, because I’m in the business of helping people.

And sometimes I simply don’t want to share because I’m worried about getting it wrong.

But I have to remember, I can help more women in their leadership journey when I get out of my own way and publish.

So, next time you use an excuse like “I’ll just wait til I feel better prepared” or “I’ll put my hand up for this big opportunity when I feel ready” remember

Playing small, doesn’t serve anyone, least of all yourself.

And for anyone who does take a big step up despite fear of failure?

Congratulations! You’re awesome!

This is the game.

 

 

Reposted from LinkedIn. Why not connect with me there as well?
 

Vive la révolution! #ambitionrevolution #LookOutCSuiteHereSheComes #feminineambition

#success #career #executivebranding #personalbrand #standout #leadership  #executivewomen #careerfutureproofing

AmandaBlesing_LinkedIn_Profile.png
Feel like your leadership journey has stalled? Email ablesing@amandablesing.com to set up a 30 min one on one to learn more. Helping clients shift from feeling invisible to becoming invincible in just 12 months

One easy tactic to help boost your credibility

We know from the research that women have a tendency to over apologise. It can be a socialised habit that we aren’t even aware of.  

Pantene's Shine ran a really interesting commercial a few years ago highlighting the issue. See right.

Hand on heart, I can honestly say I'm not immune. I do it too. It's fairly ingrained unless I concentrate.

Typical categories for apologies include:

  • Apologising for taking up too much space
  • Apologising for the inconvenience 
  • Apologising for making too much noise
  • Apologising for strong opinions
  • Apologising for having contrary opinions
Sorry_Not_Sorry_Amanda_Blesing_C-suite_Mentor.jpg

 Or ironically?

  • Apologising for apologising.

Apologising where an apology is due is really powerful, but when we over apologise and throw them out willy nilly, it degrades a real apology anyway. 

Apologising not only focuses on the fault, but also assumes that the fault, if there was one, was yours.

As Jessical Bennett, TIME Magazine, says -

Sorry is a crutch — a tyrannical lady-crutch. It’s a space filler, a hedge, a way to politely ask for something without offending, to appear “soft” while making a demand.


SO WHAT TO DO INSTEAD?

Credibility is key in your success and leadership journey. 

While rude is bad (and 'unfeminine'), gracious is good.

And the best bit? Gracious is ‘the feminine” and seen as a highly desirable leadership trait in both men and women. 

And graciousness is a credibility builder.

So how do we be gracious and not over apologise?

TRY THE REFRAME

Say “Thank you” instead of “Sorry”

  • Example 1:  “Sorry I’m late.”
    Instead say  “Thank you for your patience”
     
  • Example 2: "Sorry for the needing the meeting moved"
    Instead say "Thank you for your consideration"
     
  • Example 3: "Sorry, but I don't agree with you"
    Instead try "Thanks for that. I don't agree however. Have you considered this other aspect?" 

Everybody likes to be be acknowledged. By thanking instead of apologising you not only don't diminish yourself in the process but you acknowledge the other person's contribution as well.

Give it a try and let me know how you go.

And if you have any other suggestions for reframing an apology, do let me know.

Feminine leadership superpowers + credibility = priceless

 

Vive la révolution! #ambitionrevolution #LookOutCSuiteHereSheComes #feminineambition #success #career #executivebranding #personalbrand #standout #leadership  #executivewomen #careerfutureproofing

 

Useful? Read some more - 

Feel like your leadership journey has stalled? Email ablesing@amandablesing.com to set up a 30 min one on one to learn more. Helping clients shift from feeling invisible to becoming invincible in just 12 months

When Fixer Upper Mania is Bad for Executive Women

There are three typical areas in life where Fixer Upper Mania is bad for us.

Fixer_Upper_Mania_AmandaBlesing.jpg
  1. Fixer upper houses - when it becomes a renovation rescue project that descends into a scene out of The Money Pit
  2. Fixer upper relationships - relationship rescue - because you truly can't change anyone else but yourself
  3. Fixer upper jobs/depts/organisations - reputation rescue - where you stay past your use by date because you keep thinking "just one more project and it will be ok".

If we focus on #3 - tomorrow never comes, and sometimes just over the crest of the hill is another crest, or worse, an even bigger mountain!

If you've been employed to deliver transformational change, then deliver that, then find another transformational change project and move on. That's your expertise. Own it and use it as a super power. No regrets.

If you've been employed in a BAU capacity, yet circumstances require transformational change and it's not floating your boat anymore, maybe it's also time for you to let go and move on.

If you've found yourself with a fixer upper role/dept/organisation that's more of a CLM (career limiting move) - perhaps it looked enticing on paper and at interview, but the reality is far, far different with resistance to change ingrained into the organisational DNA - then life's too short to keep wearing yourself to the nub trying to mend a broken promise anyway. 

Does this mean we stop trying any more? No way. It's just you need to draw a line in the sand that's going to be better for both you and your organisation. 

Fixer Upperers are expensive - on your time, on your energy and even your money. Don't let your version of a Fixer Upperer ruin your reputation and your longer term happiness as well.

Just saying.

Your thoughts?
 

Feeling like it's time for you to win? Book in a 45 min one on one  phone call with me to learn more.


Vive la révolution! #ambitionrevolution #LookOutCSuiteHereSheComes #feminineambition

#success #career #executivebranding #leadership  #executivewomen #careerfutureproofing

Feel like your leadership journey has stalled? Email ablesing@amandablesing.com to set up a 30 min one on one to learn more. Helping clients shift from feeling invisible to becoming invincible in just 12 months

Don't listen to anyone else's advice

My favourite piece of advice?

"Don't listen to anyone else's advice. No-body knows what the heck they're doing anyway."

When we're in the mentoring game, sometimes we take ourselves so seriously.  It's critical for me and my clients to remember to not take ourselves so seriously, and it's always up to them.

Here is a brief video that I use to close out one of my keynotes

Enjoy!

Vive la révolution!

#ambitionrevolution #LookOutCSuiteHereSheComes #feminineambitionrocks

#success #career #executivebranding #personalbrand #standout

#leadership  #executivewomen #careerfutureproofing

Feel like your leadership journey has stalled? Email ablesing@amandablesing.com to set up a 30 min one on one to learn more. Helping clients shift from feeling invisible to becoming invincible in just 12 months

Thank you, thank you, thank you

Silent gratitude isn’t very much to anyone.
— Gertrude Stein
Thank_You_AmandaBlesing.jpg

Thank you!

Thanks for being part of my tribe of ambitious, badass woman of impact. It's been, and continues to be, a wonderful journey.

Thanks also to everyone who is connected to me on LinkedIn for helping me reach my first 10,000 connections on the platform! 

One of my fabulous clients (who incidentally was acknowledged by LinkedIn with a 2017 Power Profile) challenged me to crack the 10K mark a little faster. Congratulations to Jayne Ward, for her strategy and determination to stand out in the crowd. Awesome work. And thanks also to her for issuing the challenge to me to up my own game.

(And yes, I'm so uncool, I was watching as the counter clicked over.)

And while it was a significant milestone in my mind - it felt no-where near as rewarding as hearing from you with one of your wins and/or achievements!

So do drop me a note with one of your own wins! 

 


Remember the Friday Formula?

EVERY Friday, never fail, from now on until the end of eternity ....

  • What did you achieve this week?
  • What is the benefit you delivered (financial or otherwise)?
  • What is the expertise you used to deliver that achievement?
  • Can you quantity this? ($value or % turnaround, CSAT etc)?

Let's get in the habit of quantifying wins and building confidence. 

Let's Connect!

If you have yet to connect with me on LinkedIn then why not do it now? I share great content and have a lot of fun on there. I'd love you to join me there too.

Feminine leadership superpowers + wins & achievements = priceless

 

Feeling like it's time for you to win? Book in a 45 min one on one  phone call with me to learn more.
 

Feel like your leadership journey has stalled? Email ablesing@amandablesing.com to set up a 30 min one on one to learn more. Helping clients shift from feeling invisible to becoming invincible in just 12 months