Have you drawn your line in the sand? Sexist comments perpetuating the cycle

“We’re going to pay [insert male name] more because he is a man and needs it more than you.”
“Let’s give the' little woman' something to do to keep her busy.”
“I prefer to employ women, because they’re cheaper.”

These are all comments I’ve had said to me over the years.

Shocking I know.

Some might argue that they were ‘of the times’

However the last was shared with me in 2017!

Were the people saying these things bad people?

Not necessarily.

Simply misguided & mistaken.

These comments are insidious.

They did damage then & they do damage now.

Plus are symptoms of a far bigger issue still at play.

Women & women’s work is still under-valued.

And when women move in & become more dominant in an industry, the salary drops.

Yet, the tide is turning.

With globalisation & technological innovation comes increased speed, competition & new problems to be solved with DIFFERENT thinking.

Social media is providing a platform, along with increased awareness & education.

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Iceland is leading the way too.

Condescension is part of the problem. 

Laughing at sexist jokes is no longer OK.

Employing women because they’re cheaper is exploitation.

And if you aren’t careful, that little woman will be too smart to want to work for you anyway.

My line is drawn in the sand. Right here, right now.

Where and when is yours?

Feel like your leadership journey has stalled? Email ablesing@amandablesing.com to set up a 30 min one on one to learn nore. Helping clients shift from invisible to invincible in just 12 months

6 ideas to get you started on a bigger, better, bolder, more beautiful, bodacious & brilliant year

6 ideas to get you started on a bigger, better, bolder, more beautiful, bodacious and brilliant 2018!!!

I'm not a fan of New Year's Resolutions per se. I am a bigger fan of the notion of 'off with the old, so you can get on with the bigger, better, bolder, more beautiful, bodacious & brilliant'. After all, if you keep on doing what you've always done, you'll keep on getting what you've always got.

My mum used to refer to me as unsentimental when it came to keeping old things like clothing, knick knacks and furniture. I learned to be. In one 12 month period way back when in my late 20's, I moved 7 times. It helped me develop 'the muscle' required.

Well your career and life are the same. Some of us keep on piling on with new ideas, bigger 'n better goals, maybe an increase in pay or two, along with more and more responsibility ... until the wheels start to fall off.

Getting laid off, or having a career/life defining moment where you're forced to re-evaluate, while incredibly tough in the moment, can sometimes be a blessing in disguise. Think of the old frog in a heating saucepan analogy. And the phoenix rising from the ashes.

Sometimes you didn't know you were better off out until something happened, and then you got out. 

In the absence of getting laid off, or having a career/life defining moment, here are some tactics you can use to force yourself to re-evaluate so that you don't get caught out in the future.

My plans for 2018!

My plans for 2018!

1. Write yourself a list of 50 things you are grateful for achieving in 2017. Personal AND professional. Don't hold back. You may have had the worst year ever, but in between there will be some gold - a new friendship, a significant learning, an opportunity. It will not only remind you of the wins and achievements, but help you reframe the things that didn't really go your way, and also help you identify opportunities or room for improvement in others.

2. Do set some goals and targets for 2018. But along with your goals, identify how you want to feel when you achieve those goals. Try setting your goals with an abundance mindset, an 'effortless ease' approach with some health, wellness and energy qualifiers attached. Landing a salary of $450K might be a great goal, but is it doing work you love with people you like working with? Is your voice respected and are you making a difference? Don't forget to ditch the old 'hard work' or 'busy is better' mindset so you don't wear yourself out in the process, ensuring you get there fresh as a daisy, or skidding in with a glass of bubbles having the time of your life instead.

3. If there was one big, hairy, audacious move you could choose to execute that would help you achieve your goals, what would that be? On a scale of 1 - 10 (with 10 being incredibly scary) how much does this scare you?  If you answered 8, 9 or 10, then it's big enough. Put it on your list. 

Don't let the big, hairy, audaciousness of a move scare you. After all, how do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time!

4. Do a drain and sustain audit. If you've worked with me already you know how good this is. Don't delay, do it today! And then schedule it again for 6 months time.

5. Ask yourself -"whats the dumbest thing I do around here?Make a list. You'll find heaps. Your staff can do this too. Once you've identified a few, get rid of them. ASAP.

6. Another variation on #3, #4 & #5 is to examine your plan for friction points. Where in your life do you have friction? Last year I did this process on my travel, because as much as I love travelling I don't sleep well in hotels which wears me out (friction). Instead of grinning and bearing it, I now have corporate arrangements in Sydney and Brisbane, in hotels I know I can get a solid 8 hours. Easy peasy. I can't wait to get started again!!! (Sydney tomorrow).

If you want help with any of this, let me know. I'm doing it all myself right now as I prepare for #WomenOfImpact2018 kick off.

And remember - you can think about an apple, you can study it, teach others about it, video it or put photos on Instagram of said apple. But until you eat the thing, you don't really know what the apple is like.

So just do it.

Then let me know when you're done!

Here's to your bigger, bolder, better, more beautiful, bodacious and brilliant 2018!

___________________________________________________________________


from invisible to invincible!

Women of Impact 2018

 

It's going to be brilliant!

 

 

__________________________________________________________________

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Feel like your leadership journey has stalled? Email ablesing@amandablesing.com to set up a 30 min one on one to learn nore. Helping clients shift from invisible to invincible in just 12 months

Let's talk more about money, salary and superannuation for women

I was 36 years old, earning just $36K per annum, on a short-term contract when I finally ‘woke up’.

No kids, no big, expensive divorce and no-one had gambled away my savings

Yet I had no money in the bank and no prospects either.    

I had however, started my career late and worked casually, in low paying industries with a focus on purpose, passion and lifestyle (including a stint in PNG as an expat) rather than financial freedom.

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If wealth was measured in adventure I’d have been one of the wealthiest women around! 

But it’s not - and I wasn’t.

We live in a world where money matters.

My financial situation sucked.

Sadly, I was/am not alone.

Women in Australia not only earn less than men (currently 15.3% WGEA), but when we retire we have just half the savings of men.

In fact, almost 30% of women who retired in the past four years had no superannuation at all, according to the latest HIDLA study.

For me three things happened 

  1. I got really serious about my career progress. Enough of the fun stuff. Time to apply my talents elsewhere.
  2. I took responsibility for turning around my earning potential and superannuation balance. 
  3. I met a woman who inspired & taught me lots about finances.

I drew my line in the sand.

Have you drawn yours yet? 

The article in this link is yet another salutary (& timely) reminder. Thanks to Angela Priestly of Women's Agenda for inspiring this blog.

Negotiation, salary and superannuation for women are some of my favourite themes. We simply don't talk about it enough. There is nothing grubby about talking about money so let's do more of it!  Three more articles in the links below.

 

 

 

 

Feel like your leadership journey has stalled? Email ablesing@amandablesing.com to set up a 30 min one on one to learn nore. Helping clients shift from invisible to invincible in just 12 months

There has to be another way ....

There   had   to   be   another   way.

I was imagining the worst all the time and I wasn’t sleeping.

I was almost ready to throw it all in and get another job!

But that would have been quitting far too soon.

It was in early 2015, just a few months after I launched my own business.

My life was high on volatility, uncertainty, complexity and ambiguity, and low on safety, security & comfort zone.

Then something shifted.

I adopted a morning gratitude practice. 

Of all the things I do to support wellbeing, physical & mental health (and I do a lot) ….

this was a game changer 

-    keeping me focused on possibility rather than fear or what wasn’t working. 

Now I've added this to my evening rituals as well plus my husband Russ plays along too. 

Most of us have a lot to be grateful for in our lives life and it's handy to remind ourselves. 

The punishment for thinking negatively is thinking negatively.

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The reward for thinking positively is thinking positively. 

I’d far rather be the one who has already finished the champers, while everyone else was debating whether the glass was 1/2 empty or 1/2 full! 

Wouldn’t you?

When you’re in the middle of executing bold, bodacious & brilliant career moves 

An attitude of gratitude delivers a huge ROI.

Here’s to a bold, bodacious, gratitude filled & brilliant 2018! 

Feel like your leadership journey has stalled? Email ablesing@amandablesing.com to set up a 30 min one on one to learn nore. Helping clients shift from invisible to invincible in just 12 months

Dealing with Imposter Syndrome

“Am I really good enough?”
“I’m worried everyone will find out that I’m making it up as I go along”
“I’m worn out & not sure I’ve got it anymore!”

Sounds dramatic, doesn’t it?

But these are real comments, from real people ….. as they hit up against resistance, self doubt & fear, over & over again in their career journey.

When you’ve been rejected, not listened to or not included in the A-team for most of your career despite equal if not better performances ….. it can be tough to stay resilient & keep going!

Imposter syndrome is an insidious beast.

Which makes the work I do, so much more important.

I don’t always have all the answers either.

I too have doubts and fears just like everyone else.

Feeling like a fraud can sneak up on you when you least expect it.

But I keep on keeping on because I know I’m fighting the good fight.

And love being part of making a difference.

So, next time you say to yourself “I’m not good enough” realise that every one feels this way

No-one said leadership would be comfortable.

But it’s those with true grit who will keep on going

And for the thousands who do keep going in the face of self doubt? 

RESPECT

Get comfortable with discomfort – it’s part and parcel of a difference worth making

 

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Feel like your leadership journey has stalled? Email ablesing@amandablesing.com to set up a 30 min one on one to learn nore. Helping clients shift from invisible to invincible in just 12 months

Time to D.E.C.O.M.P.R.E.S.S.

Yesterday I saw a guy in a suit, singing on the beach.

He was walking along, headset in and belting out a tune with not a worry in the world.

He seemed happy, relaxed and he didn’t care what other people think.

After my initial response wondering if he was OK, I realised that I want some of that relaxed, not a care in the world sensation too

Thank goodness for holidays!

When you operate in a state of constant high alert, pressure & stress, it triggers a fight or flight response.

Just like fear.

Chemical signals that wash through your brain and body - the same as if you had to run from a sabre toothed tiger!

But you didn’t

Instead, you’re wrestling with a cocktail that’s far more deadly - deadlines, KPIs, office politics, reputation management, expectations, disappointment, guilt, fear and comparisons.

The impact? 

You risk becoming small - invisible & dismissible - far less likely to belt out Broadway tunes on a  the beach.

Time to decompress!

Wisdom traditions teach us to decompress regularly.

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Modern neuroscience teaches us the same.

This holiday period reflect on the following

"your best ideas rarely happen in front of the computer"

Then unplug, get grounded, laugh, hug, spend time with people who matter most, get outdoors and take a break

Decompress.

Here’s to a big, bold, bodacious & brilliant 2018!

If you enjoyed this read on ....

Feel like your leadership journey has stalled? Email ablesing@amandablesing.com to set up a 30 min one on one to learn nore. Helping clients shift from invisible to invincible in just 12 months

Why leading differently may just be your job

I turned down a really big promotion.

My bosses job with far more money & global recognition.

Even though I’d been working my butt off to be considered!

Yet had a crisis of confidence, and self selected out before even negotiating.

Not understanding the Career Limiting Move this was – until much later.

Hindsight is 20:20 vision.

This gave me HUGE insight,

Into the way that many see their capability to carve out a different path.

Today, I work with women angling for promotions, raises & the recognition they deserve.

Frequently, they self select out way too soon.

Just because your boss was super stressed or struggled,

Doesn’t mean the same reality for you.

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Just because your boss led a certain way,

Doesn’t make it the only way to lead.

We all have different ways of operating.

  • Some good
  • Some great
  • Some that truly make a difference.

So instead of saying no straight up.

Give yourself a fighting chance.

Don’t let others dictate your story.

“I haven’t found myself constrained by the male models of leadership because I haven’t found them particularly inspiring, so why copy something you didn’t like?” ~ Ann Sherry AO, Carnival Australia

If feminine leadership truly is the way of the 21st Century,

Your job is to lead differently anyway.

Vive la difference!

 

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Feel like your leadership journey has stalled? Email ablesing@amandablesing.com to set up a 30 min one on one to learn nore. Helping clients shift from invisible to invincible in just 12 months

Language habits that get in the way of women leading

Language Warning!   

Are you making these common language mistakes at work?

“I’m no expert but ….”
“I know you’ve been doing this much longer than me but  ….” 
“Am I making sense?” 
“Do you understand what I mean?”
“I just wanted to send you an email …..”
“I actually wanted to find out ….” 
“I probably should check this …..” 
“Let me quickly say …..”

And my personal favourite - uptalk - which makes you sound uncertain, as though you are seeking approval or need your ideas validated.

Passive or apologetic language habits get in the way of your executive brand, your career success & any leadership aspirations you may have.

They undermine your credibility.

Subtly but surely

And what’s scary?

They’re worse if you are overworked, overwhelmed or worn out

Get awareness.

Get an audit to identify where you need to -

  • Slow down, pause, conveying confidence and authority
  • Remove shrinkers like "just" and "actually" before sending emails to make your statements appear stronger
  • Use eye contact to show kindness, while keeping your power

Then eliminate slowly but surely.

Do the work.

Then take charge of the narrative before it takes charge of you!

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Feel like your leadership journey has stalled? Email ablesing@amandablesing.com to set up a 30 min one on one to learn nore. Helping clients shift from invisible to invincible in just 12 months

Are you working on the right things?

“So often people are working hard at the wrong thing. Working on the right thing is probably more important than working hard.” - Caterina Fake

 

I love this quote, and during the holiday period is a great time to reflect.

- Are you tired, exhausted and wondering if it’s all worthwhile? 

- Maybe it’s as simple as you've been working hard on the wrong things.

- Or is working on the right things more important?

- How easy is it to find the right things anyway?

- Can you find ways to redirect your efforts to the right things?

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- Or at the very least, how can you remove friction so that working on the right things happens more effortlessly?

Would love to know your thoughts - comments below 

#worksmarternotharder 

#playastrategicgame

#riseabovebusy 

#leadingwomeninspirechange

Feel like your leadership journey has stalled? Email ablesing@amandablesing.com to set up a 30 min one on one to learn nore. Helping clients shift from invisible to invincible in just 12 months

Are you getting in your own way?

I quit my job with nothing to go to in the GFC.  

No income, no options & no ideas either.  

During this time I discovered something important -  that we are far more than our role.

It didn’t matter the job title, the salary or the perks.  

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What really mattered was that long term unemployment looked like a real option, and I didn’t know if I was going to be enough!  

So with no easy wins on the horizon I invested in myself by

  • ditching trash (tele, novels & games)
  • learning to discern the difference between good & great advice
  • getting coached.  

But first, I got out of my own way.

I decided that I wanted a choice about my next role.

Instead of aiming lower or sideways, I aimed higher.

Then a funny thing happened.

People would stop & ask me what I was doing differently.

Someone even told me that I made being unemployed look great!

Then it all came together. And I landed a great CEO role in my industry that was right up my alley

Even better? I was energised by it and\ knew it was something I could sink my teeth into.

Now, I head up my own consultancy and help executive women get back in charge of their own destiny.

If your career is not going the way you’d prefer, ask yourself:

“Am I getting in my own way? Or am I making my own way?”

You have a choice

#feminineambitionrocks   

 

If you liked this, check out some of my other blogs -

Vive la révolution! #ambitionrevolution #LookOutCSuiteHereSheComes #feminineambition #success #career #executivebranding #personalbrand #standout #leadership  #executivewomen #careerfutureproofing

Feel like your leadership journey has stalled? Email ablesing@amandablesing.com to set up a 30 min one on one to learn nore. Helping clients shift from invisible to invincible in just 12 months