😰Even the #girlboss needs a little pampering every now and then!!!

😰Even the #girlboss needs a little pampering every now and then!!!

Just because you have a strong, independent blueprint or just because you are a leader, doesn't mean you don't need a little help and support or even pampering every now and then.

So maybe it's time 

 >> The comic is by Tatsuya Ishida from a strip called Sinfest.   See the full original here

>> The comic is by Tatsuya Ishida from a strip called Sinfest. See the full original here

  • to lift your nose up off the grindstone
  • to look up for a moment & smell the roses
  • to not mistake the map for the territory
  • and ask for a little support or help along the way 🙏

And if you know someone, who is fiercely independent and normally great at stoically coping, it's okay to offer a helping hand. 

We're all in this together and we should be #thrivingnotjustsurviving

 

>> Ask yourself - If you're too busy making everyone else look and feel good, who looks after you? 

>> NEED HELP WITH THIS? 

    >> And do reach out if you're a smart 'n savvy executive woman looking for career support

     

    Tribute to the many strong, independent, entrepreneurial women in my network! 😍

    Tribute also to International Emoji Day 🙏 on July 18, 2018

    #leadership #womenofimpact #leadingwomen #personalbranding

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    Feel like your leadership journey has stalled? Email ablesing@amandablesing.com to set up a 30 min one on one to learn more. Helping clients shift from feeling invisible to becoming invincible in just 12 months

    Perfectionism - is it the main cause of Imposter Syndrome?

    Perfectionism is a curse isn’t it? A raison d'être for some, or creeping up on others when they least expect it!

    I believe we women create a rod of perfectionism for our own back, holding ourselves to exacting, unforgiving and unrealistic standards.

    We want to -

    • cook like Masterchef,
    • have a house that looks like Vogue Living
    • create a career that REALLY counts
    • and then, we wear ourselves out at the gym trying to “look good nekid”

    I’m exhausting just thinking about it!!

    In some of the wisdom traditions perfectionism is seen as a form of self harm or violence - not only against yourself, but against others as well.

    I know it leaves me depleted, with a severe case of imposter syndrome and then leaning out and not trying any more because I’ll “never be good enough”.

    What about you?

    And - is there another way?

    >> YOUR THOUGHTS -  Are you a recovering perfectionist? ? How do you deal with your perfectionist tendencies? Or are you one of the lucky few who missed out on that permutation?

    COMMENTS WELCOME VIA LINKEDIN

    #leadingwomen #womenofimpact #career #personalbranding

     

    Feel like your leadership journey has stalled? Email ablesing@amandablesing.com to set up a 30 min one on one to learn more. Helping clients shift from feeling invisible to becoming invincible in just 12 months

    The #1 Worst Career Advice for Executive Women

    What’s the worst career advice you’ve ever received?

    Video_Hard_Work_Worst_Career_Advice_for_Executive_Women_Amanda_Blesing.png

    Maybe it was well meaning poor advice, rather than deliberately poor advice, yet poor advice none the less.

    My biggest bug bear is the advice frequently doled out without much thought  at women in leadership conferences.

    “To get ahead you just need to work hard.”

    Not only is this misguided, but it’s incredibly poor advice for those who have been socialised to lean towards the conscientious and the compliant.

    Of course there will be times when

    • we all need to work hard
    • effort is required
    • hard work is the currency of the day

    But there should be more times when strategic, smart and savvy would be better served.

    Work smarter, not harder! 

    In a modern, globalised, digitised world that’s complex, nuanced and ambiguous, working smarter will suit you far better.

    After all we’ve been working “hard” at gender diversity for years. It's time to work far smarter instead! 

    >> So what’s the worst career advice you’ve ever received?  And what would your suggestion be instead?  COMMENT IN THE LINKEDIN LINK BELOW

    LinkedIn_Mastery_For_Executive_Women_Create_A_Movement_Amanda_Blesing.jpg

    Have your say on LinkedIn! What’s the worst career advice you’ve ever received?  CLICK HERE  

     

     

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    Feel like your leadership journey has stalled? Email ablesing@amandablesing.com to set up a 30 min one on one to learn more. Helping clients shift from feeling invisible to becoming invincible in just 12 months

    Why some executive women win

    Don't worry_Be_happy.jpg

    In the last couple of months so many of my clients have had seriously big wins. I am so incredibly proud of them as they achieved –

    • BIG salary negotiations, renegotiations on negotiations, or even negotiating for the very first time (did you know that, according to Glassdoor, less than 68% of women negotiate on initial offer?)
    • Tackling bigger projects or career goals than ever before
    • Award nominations and wins
    • First time C-suite and CEO roles
    • $25K-$150K+ salary increases, and
    • Feeling like they are on track with their career again.
    You were born with wings. Why prefer to crawl through life?
    — Rumi

    I get goose bumps just thinking about it!

    But it made me wonder – why does it appear to be easier for some than others?  

    To help everyone who reads my blog, not just the ones who work with me, I’ve examined the commonalities of those kicking major goals.

    What is common amongst these women? 

    1. They have an attitude of positivity, possibility and optimism. They're able to park their "critic" and the “cynic” at the door, to embrace new ideas and tactics and then simply get on with the business of being great. They also have a YES, AND approach. If I say “jump”, they say, “YES, AND how can I take this even further?”. If I saw "try this", they say, "YES, AND I also want to try this. What do you think?"  Does this mean naïve? Not at all. Does this mean they always win? No again. But action creates momentum and a positive mindset helps build resilience.

    2. They are proactive, deliberate and strategic. They take proactive action - with minimal hesitation - and most importantly, in the direction of their choice. When faced with an obstacle they find another way – smarter, simpler, easier. For some this is the first time they've aimed at a role and tried to create/land/win it. Recently, two clients wrote out their ideal Job Description when they first started with me - and now both have created those roles. One created her new role from scratch, the other won an existing role. Either way, this has significant WOW factor.

    3. They’re not afraid to ask for help. They ask smart questions to get the right information that will help them with their goals.  And instead of suffering in silence, wondering if they are on track, they reach out for additional support sooner rather than later. A fiercely, independent blueprint might sound good in theory, but definitely has it's downside.  It’s not weak or wrong to ask for more support. It’s human and can also trigger serious momentum.

    Own_Your_Own_Awesome_Amanda_Blesing_Executive_Career.jpg

    4. They get out of their own way – and don’t sweat the small stuff. They have been able to park the small me that will try and keep then safe. And they only worry about the things that matter most.  The down side of playing a safe game is that it's frequently also a small or comfortable game. And as the saying goes - “worry is like sitting in a rocking chair – simply rocking backwards and forwards going nowhere.”

    5. They trust their gut. They’ve learned to trust their own judgment - how to discern the difference between excitement fear v's terrified fear, feedback v’s gaslighting or personal attack and good v’s bad advice, even if the bad advice is delivered by someone who is more mature, more authoritative etc. They know how to navigate through it and get to what's important. 

    So excited! So proud.

    A Winning Case Study

    One wonderful client was feeling overwhelmed, as she prepared to go on holiday. She suggested to me that she would mothball nominating for an Award until 2019.  Others around her were all in agreement, because it was true. She was worn out. 

    You can imagine my response.

    There had to be a smarter way.   Old thinking such as working hard, brand busy and relentless execution will only get you so far and will keep you worn out. What about a new and easier way of tackling this?

    As a result she has now not only effortlessly nominated for one Award, but found another Award opportunity while she was away, and felt so good about herself after the process that she created two more Award nomination opportunities upon her return.  All this while lying poolside on a drop and flop holiday!

    I’ll keep you posted on how she goes. Wish her luck!

    Here's the Twist - These Attitudes Also Keep you Younger Longer

    These attitudes that my clients are displaying may also keep them younger longer. Researchers are finding that your mental patterns could be harming, or helping, your telomeres — essential parts of the cell’s DNA — and effecting your life and health, according to Nobel-winning scientist Elizabeth Blackburn and health psychologist Elissa Epel.

    The tops three issues that that damage your telomeres and contribute to you aging faster?

    • Cynical hostility 
    • Pessimism 
    • Worrying 

    Not only will all three take years off your life, but they will also keep you playing small.

    So ditch the negativity and rumination and adopt a more positive approach and you win hands down. And to borrow a phrase from a catchy ditty from the 80’s – “Don’t worry, be happy”.

    And if it hasn't happened to you yet, it will. Keep the faith.

    ► YOUR THOUGHTS?  Have you noticed a more positive mindset helps with your career, health and happiness? And what do you do to maintain that positivity? 

     

    #MakeABiggerDifference #FeminineAmbitionRocks #WomenOfImpact 

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    Feel like your leadership journey has stalled? Email ablesing@amandablesing.com to set up a 30 min one on one to learn more. Helping clients shift from feeling invisible to becoming invincible in just 12 months

    Why Executive Women need to learn to speak to their own results, despite feeling icky!

    The No. 1 #mistake in #selfpromotion is not what you might imagine

    It’s not sounding arrogant - although given the 714,000 Google search results on the topic that’s a big concern.

    It’s that we imagine that our results should speak for themselves.

    Yet we live in a world that’s increasingly busy, where distraction is everywhere and people are the protagonist in their own movie - so others won’t always naturally see or remember your results unless you remind them.

    And because we believe that results should speak for themselves, we then think there is something wrong with us and our achievements when no-one notices, or even remembers.

    It’s a bit like getting upset when no-one remembers your birthday - but you didn’t even tell anyone when it was.

    And that’s ridiculous.

    The best bit? When we use real examples with real stories and real impact and outcomes, that helps you avoid sounding arrogant anyway, plus helps align others with your vision.

    #executivewomen #womenofimpact #personalbranding

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    Feel like your leadership journey has stalled? Email ablesing@amandablesing.com to set up a 30 min one on one to learn more. Helping clients shift from feeling invisible to becoming invincible in just 12 months

    Are you worried about getting older as an executive woman?

    One less reason to worry about ageing with Amanda Blesing resized.png

    Are you worried about getting older? Worried about discrimination or that you may simply be “past it” and not able to cut it any more?

    Well maybe it's time to stop worrying and start celebrating your maturity, particularly if you are a woman.

    Just last month, Jack Zengar, Zengar Folkman, shared stunning insights into age and confidence.  

    Women gain in confidence far more as we age.

    (Hallelujah!)

    We may feel less confident in our 20s and 30s, but there is light at the end of the tunnel

    • Our confidence increases (men and women) as we head towards 40
    • As a woman your confidence will increase even more through 50 
    • And then from 50 to 60+ it's all up hill! 

    In the words of Helen Reddy “I am woman, hear me roar”

    To paraphrase “I am a more mature woman, see me soar!”

    Combine this with research that we all get happier with age, we now have two great reasons to be happy about ageing.

    For those experiencing age discrimination, let's not dismiss the fact that our society celebrates youth and older women are an invisible segment in our community.  I don't want to dismiss the fact that this happens. So let this confidence research be your secret weapon, to help you get on the front foot and turn your age into a tactical advantage. 

    ► What about you? Do you feel more confident as you age?  Why not get involved in the conversation on LinkedIn? Have your say.

    #MakeABiggerDifference #FeminineAmbitionRocks #WomenOfImpact

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    Feel like your leadership journey has stalled? Email ablesing@amandablesing.com to set up a 30 min one on one to learn more. Helping clients shift from feeling invisible to becoming invincible in just 12 months

    ⚠️ BREAKING NEWS - 150 #CEOs held hostage in carpark for $800K ransom

    ⚠️ BREAKING NEWS - 150 #CEOs held hostage in carpark for $800K ransom

    Now that I have your attention - last night I participated in the Vinnies CEO Sleepout.

    BREAKING NEW.jpeg

    150+ business leaders sleeping it rough for the night to raise awareness and money to help break the cycle of poverty and homelessness.

    Yes, you guessed it! We raised $800K in Melbourne alone. 

    Thanks to everyone who donated so far. 

    We imagine we live in the lucky country - but do we really? When so many people are doing it tough? Unless we make substantive changes, maybe we need to rethink our branding.

    18106_PC_1571 new.jpg

    Lucky for some, unlucky for many.

    Women are particularly vulnerable. Not only are women more likely to retire under the poverty line, but are frequently the victims of domestic violence, which also can lead to homelessness. They are the hidden majority unfortunately.

    IT’S NOT TOO LATE

    >> Don’t despair! You can still make a difference right there at your desk. DONATE here https://lnkd.in/fcSpTTg

    - donations still open to end of August

    #leadership #CEOsleepoutAU #womenofimpact

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    Feel like your leadership journey has stalled? Email ablesing@amandablesing.com to set up a 30 min one on one to learn more. Helping clients shift from feeling invisible to becoming invincible in just 12 months

    The Secret to Shameless Self Promotion without Losing Likability

    The_secret_to_Shameless_Self_promotion_exposed_Amanda_Blesing_Career_Leadership.jpg

    This week I've been absolutely shameless in my self promotion as I raise funds for the Vinnies CEO Sleepout, and it got me wondering why. Why was it easy, when I normally struggle?

    So what did shameless self promotion look like for me? 

    • Reaching out to people I hadn't spoken with in 6 years and asking them for money (shameless)
    • Hitting up random LinkedIn connections who barely know me from a bar of soap (gasp!)
    • Relentless deployment of all my persuasive influencing skills (humble brag)
    • Sending hurry up reminder notes to people (hustle)
    • I even posted a video of myself (sans makeup) on LinkedIn in my efforts to drive awareness of the fact that women are retiring under the poverty line despite working hard most of their lives!!  (I mean, can you believe it? No make up! How will I survive??) And yes women are the silent and invisible majority when it comes to homelessness. This is a serious socieital issue.

    And despite all this 

    • I wasn't embarrassed
    • I spent hours on it on the weekend
    • I gave up two days of my own working week
    • I dealt with rejection far more easily and
    • I didn't falter like I usually do when it comes to spruiking brand me.

    Why? Because I was self promoting but for a cause, a purpose, a bigger mission.  And therein lies the secret.

    Research tells us:

    • When women advocate, negotiate and promote on behalf of others, we are great at it
    • The socialised helper archetype for women is incredibly strong
    • Women are also socialised from a young age to be modest or humble
    • As a society we look more favourably on female leaders who nurture/support others. If you attended the recent Clinton/Gillard evening in Australia you may remember the reference
    • We are more likely to advocate or promote when it's linked to a deeper sense of why.

    In a nutshell, just like negotiating, we know how to do it, but hesitate because we are nervous of the social penalty or backlash when/if we get it wrong.  The Catch 22 is that the less you do it the less confident you are in the future.

    Yet, if there is a deeper sense of why, a sense of purpose, or a mechanism that helps you "escape the discomfort of defying the modesty norm" you are not only far more likely to self promote, but achieve better outcomes as well. 

    (Women’s Bragging Rights: Overcoming Modesty Norms to Facilitate Women’s Self-Promotion ~ Jessi L. Smith & Meghan Huntoon, 2014)

    And it's not just women. There are some cultures where humility and modesty are deeply ingrained. So this insight is important to anyone who struggles with self promotion.

    There are still many causes worth sacrificing for, so much history yet to be made.
    — Michelle Obama

    Getting out of your own way and ditching the modesty norm

    I'm raising money to help break the cycle of homelessness. How does me raising money for Vinnies help you to self promote in your career?  

    If you can dig deep and find your connection to a deeper sense of why, a sense of purpose, a mission, values, a theme that drives your career, or simply find a mechanism that helps you ignore your socialised modesty norm, you will find it far easier to self promote, plus you'll even perform better in your role as well.

    Final shameless plug - donate here

    And on that note, if you would like to make a taxable donation before the EOFY or maybe you just want to hear about my suffering on the cold concrete, or perhaps, most likely, you'd like to do your bit to help those less fortunate - here's the link again for the Vinnies CEO Sleepout. 

    All donations welcome because we're in it together.

    #MakeABiggerDifference #FeminineAmbitionRocks #WomenOfImpact #Collaboration

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    Feel like your leadership journey has stalled? Email ablesing@amandablesing.com to set up a 30 min one on one to learn more. Helping clients shift from feeling invisible to becoming invincible in just 12 months

    Nice Girls Can Indeed Get the Corner Office

    What a great evening in #Melbourne on 14 June.

    Thanks also to Mary Anne Waldren for sharing her insights at Work Club for my Women of Impact program.

      Event photography thanks to Luis Ferreiro

    Event photography thanks to Luis Ferreiro

    Key takeaways and insights

    • Nice is not naïve
    • Nice does not mean being compliant, complicit or even capitulating
    • Nice doesn’t preclude being direct, assertive and highly competitive
    • Nice also can mean being willing to have tough conversations, or even sometimes using tough love principals to help someone move forward
    • Nice means being kind, generous and gracious - graciousness goes a long way in business and is hugely underestimated
    • Nice and likeable aren't necessarily the same and definitely not to be confused with needing to be liked

    As one motivated attendee emailed after the event

    "Being nice means being true to yourself and the situation by setting appropriate boundaries without aggression, anger, hatred or resentment. It’s about being strong and steadfast in your convictions whilst opening your heart to show kindness, compassion and gentleness towards others." 

    >> Your thoughts? Can we keep it nice and still lead effectively?

    #womenofimpact #leadership #feminineambitionrocks #careerfutureproofing

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    Feel like your leadership journey has stalled? Email ablesing@amandablesing.com to set up a 30 min one on one to learn more. Helping clients shift from feeling invisible to becoming invincible in just 12 months

    I need your help

    Brrrrr!  It's cold and miserable outside this winter in Melbourne!

    I need your help .... as do those who find themselves homeless.

    With the winter weather well and truly set in, it's a great time to talk about the Vinnies CEO Sleepout to help break the cycle of homelessness in Victoria. 

    I'm asking for donations (see link below).

    Did you know that women are the invisible majority?  Not only do we see more and more mature women retiring under the poverty line despite working hard for most of their career, but women are particularly vulnerable if they do find themselves in this situation.

    My contribution to doing something about it is to participate in the sleepout - which means sleeping rough and cold on the cement in Melbourne with a cardboard box and a cup of soup for company.

    >> DONATE: If you would like to help - you can donate to the fund. The link to my page is in the 1st link. Would appreciate your support. 

    >> Or take part! Vinnies is hosting these CEO Sleepouts to raise awareness and funding all around the country. Get on board.

    Special thanks to all the fabulous contributors already. At time of posting my fund was almost $5K. Watch this space.

    THANKS IN ADVANCE!

     
    Feel like your leadership journey has stalled? Email ablesing@amandablesing.com to set up a 30 min one on one to learn more. Helping clients shift from feeling invisible to becoming invincible in just 12 months

    9 signs your sprint style might be undermining you

    I've got a confession to make. I'm a sprinter.  In school athletics I was always the long distance lady and cross country queen. Sprinting wasn't my thing. But when it comes to work, the long slow grind is enough to drive me bananas. I like variety in the peaks and troughs, end to end nature of projects.  

    • Long slow burn with the humdrum of adminisitrivia?  Meh.  
    • Following a process and not colouring outside the lines or questioning? Boring! 
    • BAU with no end in sight? Just shoot me now. I'm yawning just thinking about it.

    However it's not all bad. My sprint style helps me to achieve more than many, deliver on massive deadlines and push the proverbial uphill. I once wrote and produced an online training course on a Sunday - videos and all! And while I was exhausted at the end, I loved every minute. Yet, the thought of going back in and auditing, editing and refining it leaves me sadly cold.

    What is sprinting?
    We all know what sprinting is. That short intense burst of speed and power used to create momentum to get over the finish line or achieve a results.

    • Sprinters sprint - and after a little digging I can see that Flo Jo's 1988 record still stands (who knew?!)
    • Project methodologies use sprinting to harness momentum and meet short term project deadlines
    • Mountain climbers sprint to the summit – have you been reading about Lhakpa Sherpa, arguably the world's greatest female Everest climber? WOW
    • And if you follow Dr Michael Mosely on the BBC (soon to be visiting Melbourne) you know that short bursts of sprinting are awesome for your fitness (HiT) and a great option for women managing cortisol overload and who still want to train

    They're exhilarating, energising, adrenalising .... and they get heaps of stuff done.  And they are the bread and butter of both The Player and The Fixer if you follow my methodology.

    When sprinting for work works?

    • When a project or strategic initiative requires a rapid burst of energy or direction change
    • When you have a new idea and want it to gain traction or launch really fast
    • When you've got a massive workload and you need to get to the finish line on time and on budget 
    • When you've got a deadline looming and need a finish line to eliminate overwork, rework or perfectionism 

    When it doesn't work? 

    • When you are in it for the long haul 
    • When you are worn out, exhausted and overwhelmed and simply don't know what to do next
    • When it's your only style of operating
    I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.
    — Douglas Adams

    How do you know?

    As a sprinter from way back, who tends to work with other highly successful sprinters as clients (yes you), I've seen and heard about all the signs. Here are nine signs that you need to recalibrate or wind back on your default sprint mode -

    1. When you get to the end of your HUGE Monday and you're exhausted already, and it's not because you had a big weekend, and it's still only Monday!
    2. When you suffer chest pains from stress at midnight as you finalise last minute updates for your 8.30am presentation the next morning 
    3. When you regularly run for (or miss) your flight because you seem to get to the airport only just in time
    4. When you submit your BAS/tax return on the last day possible - 9 x out of 10
    5. When you are using your sprint to the deadline nature as an excuse for not achieving or as an apology for work you worry isn't going to be good enough
    6. When you submit job applications at the last minute - and use this as an excuse to yourself for missing out because it was such a last minute rush
    7. When you only have two settings - flat out like a lizard drinking or flat out on the couch resting
    8. When your sprints leave you so exhausted or drained that you can't contribute any more either at the office or worse, at home (robbing from the personal to pay for the professional)
    9. When your over reliance on sprints means you have no room for creativity, daydreaming, innovation, reflection and course correction along the way

    The way you do anything is the way you do everything

    Sprint_Pace_Way_to_the_top_AmandaBlesing_com_Mentor_Women_in_leadership.jpg

    If you ticked yes to three or more of the above, there's a fair chance you might want to examine your practices and put mechanisms in place to mitigate the risk of over reliance on your sprint nature. Because if you're over reliant on sprinting in one area of your life you're probably doing it in others and haven't even noticed yet.  

    I find admin support, a coach, accountability, team members who are different styles (yes, diversity), or building in micro deadlines along the way, are all great tactics. Pick one, pick them all. Mitigate the risk of self sabotage.

    And the Gold Standard?  Using the sprint as it was intended, as just one of the tools in your toolkit.  Not relying on the sprint as your only modus operandi.

    Have your say

    • What's your style? Do you rely on sprints? Or do you have more of a slow burn type of approach? Or do you have another tool in your toolkit? 
    • And what ever your approach, what do you do to ensure that it's not your only approach? 
    • Drop me an email because your ideas might just help someone else 

    Want to shift your personal brand from feeling worthless to world class?   
    Why not book in a 30 min one on one  phone call to learn more. 1st in best dressed rules apply.

    Take charge of the narrative before it takes charge of you!

     
    Feel like your leadership journey has stalled? Email ablesing@amandablesing.com to set up a 30 min one on one to learn more. Helping clients shift from feeling invisible to becoming invincible in just 12 months

    Sexist attitudes still exist in 2018 - 10 worst explanations

    I’m utterly gob-smacked that these attitudes exist in 2018

    “We have one woman already on the board, so we are done — it is someone else’s turn”

    “All the ‘good’ women have already been snapped up”

    “Most women don’t want the hassle or pressure of sitting on a board”

    They were part of a list of the 10 worst explanations given to a team questioning chairs & CEOs of the 350 biggest publicly listed companies in Britain over low numbers of women serving on British boards, according to a NYT article on 31 May

    “As you read this list of excuses, you might think it’s 1918 not 2018. It reads like a script from comedy parody but it’s true” ~ Amanda Mackenzie, CEO, Business in the Community

    If you’re in Oz thinking that we’re different, think again, with high profile male chairs recently expressing similar sentiments

    “You hear some of the blokes complaining – but we are in the midst of a social revolution; now they have to compete against 100% of the population, not 50% ~ Ilana Atlas, Coca-Cola Amatil Chair

    Comments do not reflect research on the issue. Increasing numbers of investors are pushing for greater gender diversity on the boards. Watch this space.….

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    Feel like your leadership journey has stalled? Email ablesing@amandablesing.com to set up a 30 min one on one to learn more. Helping clients shift from feeling invisible to becoming invincible in just 12 months