Introducing The She-Suite™ Club

The Exclusive Empowerment Community for Leading Women

When Women win, we all win.
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Have you hit the “glass ceiling” so many times, it feels as if the top of your head is flat? Has your journey through the executive ranks seem to have stalled out? Are your dedication and hard work going unrewarded? Are you feeling underappreciated or misunderstood in the workplace? If so…welcome to The Club!

“This is THE place, where like-minded, executive-minded, forward-thinking women come to communicate—collaborate—and celebrate everything that it means to be a career-focused woman in a male-dominated work environment. This isn’t about ‘us vs. them.’ This is about us making a name for ourselves—taking a seat, and truly owning that seat, at the executive table—and doing so not as ‘clones’ of men, but as authentic, self-confident, self-empowered women.”

Amanda Blesing

2 x Author; Women’s C-Suite Mentor & Executive Coach; Founder: The She-Suite™ Club

Where empowered women empower other women. Because when women win, everyone wins.

Three things about perfectionism you might not have known

1. Did you know that women and men experience perfectionism differently?  Some studies have found that women are more likely to experience certain aspects of perfectionism, such as concern over mistakes, whereas men may be more likely to exhibit certain other aspects of perfectionism, such as the need for control. Fascinating stuff. Sure, it’s a socialisation thing and you only have to look at Instagram to understand the impossible pressure women are under to look good, behave a certain way and to “not let down all women everywhere”. It’s exhausting 😱

2. Did you know that you can be perfectionist in some areas of your life but not others? For example, someone might be very detail-oriented and precise when it comes to their work, but their bedroom floor looks more like a “floordrobe” than a grown up living,  sleeping and clothes storage space 🤣 Perfectionism can manifest differently depending on the person and the context.

And 3. Did you know that in the world of yoga and yoga philosophy, perfectionism is seen as a form of violence? Not just towards yourself but also towards others as you set the bar so high, that others may feel they don’t measure up.  In yoga philosophy, ahimsa is the principle of non-harming or non-violence. As it relates to perfectionism, the idea is that pushing yourself too hard in the pursuit of perfection can be harmful and ultimately counterproductive to your overall well-being. Practicing ahimsa means finding a balance between striving for excellence and being kind and compassionate to oneself. In return you reduce negative self-talk and self-criticsm, which are both harmful to your emotional health.

So why am I talking about perfectionism in the week of St Valentine’s Day? ❤️
Because the practice of self-love might be the best thing you can do for yourself and if it takes Valentine’s Day to remind you, then so be it.

Here are five self-love tactics for any recovering perfectionists reading this email.

  1. Practice self-compassion: When you make a mistake or fall short of your (high) expectations, instead of mentally beating yourself up, remind yourself that it’s okay to be imperfect. Instead of allowing the small voice on your shoulder to speak negatively to you, switch up the language to more positive and more compassionate self talk instead. “Nice one! Even though I made a mistake, it’s a great chance to have another go to see if I can improve”, or “Even though I stuffed up on the interview, it’s not the end of the world, and I can prepare differently next time”. Speak to yourself as though you’re a good friend and see if it doesn’t get you back on track sooner. Read more.

  2. It’s a progress, not a perfect – celebrate small wins: Sometimes we’re so focused on the big end goal that we lose sight of how far we’ve come and forget to celebrate progress. Give yourself credit for progress and effort, even if it’s not perfect. I use a range of tracking apps, daily gratitude journaling and recapitulation meditation techniques. I’ve even written about the importance of ad hoc progress reporting on my blog before. The older you get and the further into your leadership journey you go, the more you will need to get comfortable with scale, complexity, uncertainty and instability. It’s hard to be perfect in that environment so learn to celebrate small wins.

  3. Re-calibrate your expectations: If you notice that you’re starting to get negative and beat yourself up about not achieving, re-calibrate your goals.  According to science, we overestimate what we can do in the short term and underestimate what we are capable of in the long term. Re-calibration isn’t selling out or settling, it’s just finding another way. Recognise that perfectionism can be unrealistic and unattainable. Re-calibrate your goals and expectations, and don’t be too hard on yourself if you don’t meet them. Focus on what you learned instead.

  4. Embrace vulnerability: In a world where it’s expected of leaders that they develop a ‘public persona’ or some sort of personal leadership brand, this one can be challenging. Perfectionism often stems from a fear of being exposed as lacking or wanting in some way, and will cause you to shy away from visibility opportunities or chances to step up into the limelight.  If this is you then head on over to Netflix and watch Brené Brown’s “The Call To Courage”. It’s a phenomenally inspiring doco and provides a wonderful insight into what it’s like to step into the arena with courage and allowing your perfectionist tendencies to fall to the wayside.

  5. Practice ahimsa – yoga might not be your jam, but adopting the principle of non-violence to yourself and others, might be a great approach to bring into your life not just for recovering perfectionists. It also helps us speak kindly, stay generous and is a great reminder to stay present and enjoy the moment.

“All perfectionism is, is the 20-ton shield we carry around hoping it’ll keep us from being hurt while in truth, it keeps us from being seen.”

~ Brené Brown

My perfectionist tendencies come out to play the most when things aren’t going my way, or I’m in the middle of a big grinding project where I’m losing control and feeling like I might fail. It’s as though I’m trying to exert more control over all the moving parts through sheer willpower, grit and effort alone, when some of those things can’t be controlled at all.  Remind yourself

  • It’s okay to be a work in progress,
  • It’s okay to not get the raise or promotion exactly on schedule,
  • It’s okay for the boss to move the project goal posts and all of a sudden your control over the outcome is slipping.

Add a little self-love and you will more likely find it easier to flex, grow, change, adapt, learn or to try something different to get there in the end.

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What My Incredible Clients Have to Say…

Thank you so much Amanda. You have brought out the best of me and put it on a page.

Amanda helped me build my digital brand with a strategic approach that’s aligned to my long-term career goals. I learned to add value and richness to my network and customers, and I have a visibility strategy that is above the line and future-focused!

It’s a blast working with Amanda – I can feel the momentum growing – now a matter of me putting my foot on the pedal to get myself out there in full confidence!


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To ensure you are never caught out, and are perfectly positioned to put your best foot forward in your career, every time.

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