Every day I speak with women who have an intense dislike of self-promotion.

I don’t disagree – it can feel absolutely cringe-worthy when someone gets it wrong.🤮

Our society even has negative names for those we perceive to be getting it wrong –

• braggart
• too big for your boots
• and even schoolyard trash-talk of becoming a legend in your own lunchtime.

As women we have a finely attuned social and risk antennae to sanctions and penalties such as negative names, so in our attempts to avoid being tarred with that negative brush we might instead choose to throw the baby out with the bathwater.

A different (better) response might be to learn to self-promote, skillfully and strategically, without sounding like you’re bragging, rather than avoiding it entirely.

Think of it as a cost of doing business – making a difference, earning the big bucks, and having a long and successful leadership career.

But that doesn’t mean it’s all easy and all of a sudden you’ll be great at it.

If you don’t value yourself, others won’t either.

FIVE SELF-PROMOTION MISTAKES WOMEN ARE TYPICALLY MAKING

Here are five self-promotion mistakes that women are making – listed in no particular order.

1. NOT SELF-PROMOTING
   You cannot sell a secret. In a busy attention deficit world, and as much as we want it to be otherwise, our results no longer speaks for themselves. Our society mistakes confidence for competence, and well networked for influential and successful. If you’re going to get some skin in the game you’ll need to find a way to skilfully share about your own progress, achievements and results.
   
   
2. NOT (Re) CLAIMING CREDIT FOR YOUR OWN WORK
   We all know that taking credit for others work is an absolute no-no. And for women who do it, the punishment can be truly fierce because the stereotype for women is the we’re supposed to be incredibly generous, humble and prioritise others needs above our own. However there is flip side to this story – unfortunately it’s not that unusual for others to appropriate women’s achievements and get away with it (bro-propriation is a “fun” nickname for a serious issue). And when you don’t have tactics for taking credit, claiming or even reclaiming your own achievements, you will continue to miss out. There is a great podcast on HBR Women in the Workplace on what to do if others take credit for your work. I highly recommend. Remember, if you don’t value yourself, others won’t either.
   
   
3. PROMOTING OTHERS AT THE EXPENSE OF YOURSELF
   Which is standard fare for many women and servant leaders and certainly has its place. But if this is the only tool in your toolkit you’ll end up being underestimated and over looked. I tell a story about Mary in Invisible to Invincible, who was a servant leader and great at highlighting the wins of her staff. After a change in CEO all of a sudden she was under fire because her new CEO could not see how Mary was adding value and she didn’t know how to tell him. As a leader or executive you ALSO need to learn to self-promote for yourself as well as for others. Pro tip: Find ways to get others to advocate for you – also in the book.
   
   
4. SELF-PROMOTING TOO FREQUENTLY
   Once again because self-promotion is still seen as breaching the narrow stereotyped norm for women, when we do it too frequently (yes, highly subjective), we run the risk of being seen as all show, no go. Yes, being highly visible, attending lots of networking functions, being all over LinkedIn all the time, nominating for multiple awards, can feel like you’re on the right track, but can come with a side of backlash and negative connotations of being labelled a lightweight, threat or a flight risk. With visibility comes vulnerability – and all that exposure can become exhausting and leave you wondering why you bother. Instead work out what you’re aiming for and put a visibility and nurture strategy in place to achieve that – a plan to be seen by the right people, at the right time, in the right place with the right key messages, in alignment with your career goals. Don’t confuse high exposure with successful – choose strategic exposure instead.
   
   
5. SELF-PROMOTING WITHOUT SUBSTANCE
   When you stand for everything you stand for nothing, as the saying goes, once again getting you tarred with the lightweight brush. Unfortunately this too can dilute your brand and undermine your career progress. Self-promotion that actually drives your career happens easiest when you’ve defined your leadership brand – what do you stand for, why it is important along with how (and how much) you add value. Do. This. Work. Now.  Then stay on brand and play above the line.

While all these things might sound overwhelming, the consequences of not self-promoting are considerable – promotions are harder to fight for, negotiations for salary and opportunity parity can be tougher than they need be, and you are less likely to be tapped on the shoulder for those plum assignments or high profile special projects.

Instead, build your self-promotion muscle early and strategically, in ways that are congruent with who you are as a leader, and in alignment with your future career aspirations – and you’ll never look back.

READ MORE

• Four (Un)Common Sense Ideas for Busy Executives Learning to Self-promote
• Seven Incredibly Expensive Self Promotion Excuses Typical for Executive Women